I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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