The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You made out with two different species that night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
