I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
