I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
