I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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