So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
