Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
