did you get engaged???
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't motorboat a personality
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize