he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
