How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
