Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
