I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
