Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
