problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
