Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
