Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
