He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
