I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
there is puke in my bra ... again
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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