sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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