Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
