3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
