If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
