just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
