what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
