i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize