Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
