you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
