dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
