Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think my moral compass just broke
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
