sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
