i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
