Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My breasts were aching with rage.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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