just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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