Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
