I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize