'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
