I'm lost and stupid without you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
