I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
