I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
