Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
