If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
