You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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