she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
