I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
