Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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