you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
