There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
