Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
