Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
