i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
