she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
