I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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