in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
