Who wears a wallet chain?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize