When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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