I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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