genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
