She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I look better un-naked...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
