are you so shy because you have an std?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
