FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
