alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
