We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
