yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Alive.
So much puke
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
