Do vagina's smell?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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