Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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