so explain again why im purple
no
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
