This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
do herpes really smell.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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