Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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