dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize