We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
