it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
