The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
