I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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