It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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