Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
